Hold On Tight But Always Look Back
by shaping-up-to-be-pretty-ood
Summary: His wife is dead, but after his first trip to Trenzalore, he realized he was hurting himself more by not contacting her. 11/River with some implied Whouffle at the end...


"Hello, Charlotte," he murmured quietly, running a finger over the computer unit where he'd first met his wife. "Is River awake?" He chuckled to himself. "I mean, would you mind skipping over until she is awake? I don't trust the Vashta Nerada one tiny bit, so I'm going to be inside the TARDIS, link the telepathic circuitry to you, and I promise it won't hurt a bit..."

xXx

"Hi honey..." He whispered, ghosting his fingers over his unsuspecting wife's shoulder.

"You're home," she sighed happily, whirling to wrap him in a nearly bone-crushing hug and snuggling her face down into his neck.

"I told you not to wait up."

"How long has it been since Trenzalore, my love?"

"Oh, you know... Not so long. About a week. I've been avoiding you again, River, and I'm so sorry. But it hurts. I love you too much to leave you, and I'm not going to leave you until the day I die. And this is going to be a very different type of love affair, let me tell you."

xXx

"Do you ever miss your guns and such?" It struck him that that might be a strange question to ask after what they'd just done, but he could feel her smile into his bare chest. Her hand was splayed over his hip possessively and her leg was draped across his own.

"Sometimes," she murmured. "But most of the time it's wonderful here."

"Most of the time?"

"I spent a very long time dead without seeing my husband. And I know exactly how much time passed for you after the Towers until Trenzalore. Benefit of being the child of the TARDIS, I suppose. I'm just happy you actually came back."

"After what you said to me at Trenzalore, I knew you would be waiting for me. I realized that you'll always be here, even though you died. I never really have to give up my wife."

She pulled him flush to her body with a little hum, resting her forehead against his shoulder. "How much do you love me?"

"More than all the stars in all the universes," he whispered, tightening his arms around her.

xXx

"Everytime I go to sleep I'll be here," he reassured with a smile. "The TARDIS has a permanent telepathic link with Charlotte now, and she'll automatically patch me into the system when my mind becomes dormant. She loves you too, you know. Sexy. More than anyone she's ever met before, I'd think. My TARDIS and her baby." He swept a curl out of her face lovingly, then cupped her cheek. "My River."

"Before you go, I want you to know that it's okay." She swallowed and covered his hand with her own. "Clara. I can see you want to love her. It's okay, as long as you always promise to visit."

He gives her a strange look. "Are you sure?"

She nods. "Show her the stars, Doctor. Go on mad adventures. Make her happy. But remember no matter how far you run, I'm always here waiting for you, no matter what happens."

Her fixed her with a sudden kiss, pulling her tightly against him. A bit breathless when he released her, he whispered, "Until the next time, Professor Song."

"I look forward to it..." And with a sudden mischevious glint in her eyes, she leaned forward and murmured his _real_ name to him, the one he heard her say at Trenzalore.

It makes him smile hugely before fading back to consciousness in her bed onboard the TARDIS.

It's time to find a Wednesday.

**A/N: The title of this fic is taken from The Kids From Yesterday by My Chemical Romance, and the actual line is "hold on tight and don't look back." But I thought that "always look back" is more appropriate when it comes to River, especially that it was insinuated by Madame Vastra that the Doctor very well could've contacted her. I left the end of this a bit open because Moffat has stated that River is so many fans favorite character (including my own) that he's considering that this not be the end for her. I can see this since I'm left with a question: does the Doctor build her her own original sonic screwdriver, or does he really give her his after it's been modified? We all saw that he still had it during The Name Of The Doctor, and it does have red settings. Now, obviously it still needs dampers if it is in fact the one River had in the Library, and the ring, but there's wiggle room the way Moffat has set this up. PLUS, somebody had to make her grave an entrance to the TARDIS on Trenzalore, and the Doctor couldn't have because he properly died on Trenzalore. Clara might have opportunity, but River obviously knows the TARDIS better than anyone and knew what it was during the episode... And I'm leaning towards the idea that when 11 is done River will be too now that Matt's departure has been announced... Okay, headcanon theory/ranting is done now.**


End file.
